well it’s been a while but i’m back with my best typing finger!
Way back on the 1st of Feb. me & the big fella went over Ellesmere Port way for the league clash with Vauxhall Motors, yet another bitter cold night and this time the air smelt like the side of a match box!
Would this strange aroma tarnish the taste of the Bovril…….? NO! because they only had OXO! but to be fair the pies were “tidy” so not all was lost.
The game kicked off and the VM side looked quite good passing the ball about in midfield making the bloods chase shadows, we had chances though with Liam & Luke playing well together on the left. The ref blew to end the first half much to the disgust of Liam who was on the ball attacking the VM defence, showing this he blasts the ball at the scouse ref who looked quite winded when it buried into his stomach lol.. NICE!
The 2nd half got under way with subs. Macca & Cayne Hanley (making his début) now on the field and after 5 mins the 2 combined for Macca to get the only goal of the game. VM pushed hard for the rest of the game and probably deserved a point but the bloods held firm for a hard earned 3 points.
The much anticipated return to Blyth was next on the fixture list with the BIG night out in Whitley Bay featuring prominently in the Rhino’s diary! Now i was going to tell you all how ill i was & couldn’t make this game & how devastated i was but if the truth be know when i told my wonderful girlfriend of our plans she suddenly had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a lemon so i knew the trip was off.
As it turns out the game finished 2-2 with some sort of goal line clearance disputed by the Blyth fans but after watching it on youtube it’s still a bit……… well, fuzzy lol.
So back at the butchers for the replay and the away fans were still moaning about Maradona in 86 or some handball incident anyway, but the Spartans seemed to do the talking for them on the pitch. The visitors were 1-0 up after about 10 mins & things just went from bad to worse after that. The bloods just didn’t turn up on the night and when Nat was shown a red card in the 2nd half the Spartans turned up the heat and ran away with the game 4-0. Pacey was reported to have said “there will be some vacancies in the squad after tonight” in a post-match interview.
Nuneaton came to town on the Saturday boasting a “top of the league” position. Although Nunny had a couple of early chances including one that hit the post it was the bloods who took the lead when Liam Brownhill crossed for Macca to head back across goal and hit the post, Lewis Killeen pounced on the rebound and seem to score with his bollocks from inches out! So 1-0 up at half time & we’re off to see the Nigella sisters for a pie & a Bov.
As usual the nicer one was in joyful spirits but the other was in what could only be described as a “menstruating Rosemary West” type of a mood! As we get to the front of the que we was met with her squarking “bunch of ignorant Bastards this lot” trying to calm the situation i said “ooh that’s not a very nice thing to say hunny” The Rhino suddenly steps in by dragging me to safety saying “you’ve got a leg missing as it is, you can’t afford to lose any more limbs!” and thinking about it she did have that look about her!
The 2nd half is under way with the young bloods in the main stand singing “top of the league – your having a laugh” at the top of their voices, Nunny did all they could to break through but the bloods defence stood firm and the game stayed at 1-0.
A cold Monday night and i’ve opted out of a romantic Valentines meal with my girlfriend as me & the big fella are at the butchers again for the Trafford game in the Manc cup. This has to go down as the worse game of football i’ve ever seen & the less said about it the better. The only thing to look forward to was the half time pie and see if the sisters had gone the extra mile to serve up something romantically special to numb the pain & suffering of the last 45 mins.
We was greeted by our worst nightmare at the tuck shop…… NO PIES! “i can’t believe it” i said to the nice sister, “you couldn’t of nipped to Iceland and got a few bags of frozen Hollands pies today?” with a “not really that arsed” look on her face she replied “we got chips” as i looked round to see if the Rhino was just as heartbroken i was surprised to see him chuckling to himself as he leaned over the counter and whispered “this is what a pie’d-o-file looks like when he can’t get his fix” pointing his finger at me!
Back to the stand for the 2nd half, it surely can’t get any worse can it? Trafford were awful, they just had no idea at all and just seemed to bring the game to it’s knees but we went on to win 2-0 but i can’t remember it as i was quietly playing backgammon on my phone for most of the night and didn’t want to wake the Rhino.
Almost up to date… Hinckley at home and we sit in the main stand for the 1st half, OMG! the 3 old farts that sit in the “directors bit” have got to be related to the 2 old codgers from the Muppet show! I thought the idea of paying £10 to get into the ground was to “support” the team but these 3 Boer War veterans seem to think it’s the slagging-off fee. It was a poor 1st half from the bloods as they didn’t test the keeper once but is Youthanasia really such a bad thing???
We’re in the que for the tuck shop at half time when the woman in front of us turns and says “she’s on her own” as she nods towards the serving hatch, sure enough one of the Nigella’s was missing and the strange woman in the que then said “she must be out with her fella” while thinking of something clever to say the Rhino chirps in with “i think your right there love, she’s a bit like a tortoise that one” really confused by this the woman asks “what do you mean like a tortoise?” looking her square in the eye he replies “not often you see one on it’s back, but when you do they’re like that for a long time” shocked, the woman leaves and we move up one in the que…. happy days!
2nd half was much better, not only had we moved away from cobweb corner the bloods came out a different team! Within 10 mins of the re-start we got a penalty which Killer eventually scored. But only a few minutes later seen the young Strachan take the ball cleverly round Phillo to slot home the equaliser 1-1. The bloods went back in front when Dan Gardner put Killer through for his second but i missed this goal as there was some sort of incident involving one of the ball boys!
A ball had been kicked out of play and knocked a satellite dish out of plonk on one of the houses on High St. The cheeky young chap had dashed into the garden & got the ball back leaving the owner of the house rattling the main gates of the butchers demanding to speak to the chief steward! Some people eh?
Back on the pitch Phillo was giving us a display of his “clown-school” goalkeeping when he came charging out of his area, for some unknown reason, to deliver a total fresh air shot in his attempt to clear. This left the Hinckley giant of a centre forward Gary Ricketts the simple job of side-footing home into an empty net for 2-2.With time running out and just when it was looking like a draw, Gardner once again found the perfect pass this time to Domaine Rouse who went 1-on-1 with the keeper to knock in the winner.
Off to the Gardeners for Monday club / cheap beer night to discuss the bloods new avid watcher of home games…… The nasty old git with a carving knife on High St. waiting for the next match ball to invade his garden! lol…………….. T1L